Regrets

Okay, so I don't feel that much better emotionally. In fact I am still struggling but what is plaguing me the most right now are regrets. I regret so many things I have done and said in the past. However, I know that I can't go back and change things. Sometimes I wish I could. Then again, it is our experiences that go into making us who we are. I am plagued by the wish that I could be a better Christian. I have some good qualities but I know I could and should do better in some aspects. I am still working on it. I need to keep praying.

Changes

Gosh, I hardly know where to begin. Part of me just wants to sit here and curse a blue streak. However, where would that get me and what good would it do for me. I also sit here and just feel like bawling my eyes out. I am in a bit of a funk right now I guess.

Part of it is because I am so tired. Wednesdays are incredibly busy days for me at the store because I am in the store all by myself for just about the whole day. And traditionally, Wednesdays are busy days. Doesn't help that I only ate one meal today too and that was at 3:30. They tell you not to do or say anything if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or tired and right now I am all of those so perhaps I should just go to bed and call it quits. Wait....I have to see the season finale of Top Chef first. I don't care who winds but I just know that I want one guy to lose because he is an arrogant ass.

Anyhow, some good things in that my work situation has changed some. The trouble I was having has been taken care of but it does mean a bit more work for me but the stress is so much less that is okay. One of the people I wrote about last time has been asked back to his old position. Awesome. Now, he doesn't have to work that job that he doesn't like. The other friend I wrote about is still out there looking and I pray that something comes up for him soon.

So, I guess that will be it for now....I just really am feeling kinda crappy emotionally so I will close because the one thing I don't want to do it get on some pitty pot. That I don't like in others and I like it even less in myself.

Sleep well all.

Breakin' my heart

I am a bit sad tonight. This job situation has really got some folks I care about down in the dumps. First of all, I know exactly how they feel. I am having some job related issues myself. I am praying that I will be able to work through them but I have a couple of other friends who are really struggling.

First of all, I have a friend who had to go back to an industry that he wasn't really happy with because of the way things are in the economy right now. He is a real go getter and a hard worker. At first, he was excited about this job because it was more laid back that his previous work in this field because it wasn't cut throat. However, because he is such a go getter he is actually doing better than some of the others that have been there longer than him and there is some sour grapes and now the others are jealous and giving him a hard time. It just really sucks because he was so excited at first about this job and now he is so disappointed. I feel so bad for him and really there is nothing I can do except pray for him. However, that is doing a lot so I will keep doing that.

Next....my son. This is the one that breaks my heart the most. I was mad when he got fired from the job he had because it was for such a stupid reason. If he is using his own tools like he was, then he should be able to take them home if the others are not taking care of them. However, because he decided to do that...his boss fired him. In a way, it's probably a good thing because I really don't know how much longer that company would be in business. Anyhow, he has struggled trying to find work. He did finally find a job waiting tables. He used to do this and I know that it isn't really what he wanted to do but he was glad to have a job and was grateful. However, after just 2 days and he is miserable. He is working is a popular San Angelo resteraunt, however it isn't a place that really cares for someone with a Christian background and they are working him into the ground. 12 hour shift today with no breaks. I know it's Valentine's Day but that is just ridiculous and boy it pisses me off. I went there for dinner today and left him a big tip but he was just so sad. He just almost seems defeated. I have been praying for him a great deal tonight. Hopefully, he will make good tips and maybe that will help. He will always be my baby so you can't help wanting to take care of them and wanting to make things better for them, no matter what their age is or waht yours is but I do feel a bit helpless with this but I know that as long as I can pray, I am never helpless. I just ask the Lord to take care of my boy.

Actually, I want to just ask the Lord to keep all of us that are stuggling with a job situation in the palm of his hand and to look out for us and for hime to put us where he wants us to be. Perhaps we all 3 already are because in this world, it is his will that will be done and not ours.

I pray that God blesses all of you as well.

J.

God's Sense of Humor

I gotta tell you that the Lord certainly has a sense of humor. I had a very rough day. I was stressed to the max at work because I was swamped today and the one co-worker who was in the store with me was absolutely no help. Then, things went from bad to worse when we had a 3 pallet shipment arrive and we had a corporate exec there with our boss and they both drove us all crazy while we were trying to check the shipment in. Then, because I didn't appreciate things enough and I had lost sight of the fact that I should always be grateful for what I have, the muffler half fell off my car on the way home and I can't drive the darn car right now. Man, oh man. I get so tired of the fact that the Lord has to do stuff like this to get my attention. You think I would learn the lesson but I don't. What really bad timing too. Doesn't help matters either that I was so horribly sick all weekend and am still trying to get over it because I have to go out of town Friday morning for a weekend sales conference. Yippee.

On a good note, tomorrow is my son's 2nd wedding anniversary and I am very happy for them.

I wish all of you a better night.