Why is it always so hard?

I just don't understand things sometimes. I want so badly to sit here and type why do certain things happen? Yet I know it is the wrong thing to do. I know that we can't ask why. It is one thing when I am in pain and hurting. I have definitely been in pain and hurting for the past couple of weeks now. I know that mine is coming from the fact that I need to seriously change things in my life and fear is ruling and I am dragging my feet on it. So, there really isn't any reason for me to ask why about that. However when the pain is felt by someone I love, all I want to do is make it better. I know that I can't but what do you say when they ask you why, or worse yet when they know that they can't but the questions lays between you, unasked by both, because you know you aren't supposed to ask it? It is just so damn hard. It hurts me to see my loved ones hurting. It makes me sick when things don't work out for them and yet, they have been doing everything "right". I know that trials make us stronger. What sucks right now is that I know all the right things that I am supposed to say. And I know that they are right I just am dealing with my own crap right now so I am really not feeling them like I should. It is just very hard.